sigh

I called my mother yesterday evening because I was all happy I'd found a friend to take my father to church while we are out of town. I ended up talking to her for quite awhile, with her in tears for some of the conversation. Evidently meals are becoming more of a challenge and an issue for them and she still hadn't had dinner and she's diabetic, and my father was being difficult.... As I said to her: A. He's Joseph and he's difficult. B. he has Alzheimer's which is going to change his behavior and make him difficult. So it's hard to know when you're dealing with A or B or a combination. You have to try not to take B personally but of course that's easier said than done. And when it's A you have to just remember that you've been married to him for 54 years....

ehhh, I don't know. I've been focussing on my job and us and this was a just a little reminder that there's more going on in my life and their life. I talked to my mother about Meals on Wheels. She actually seemed relatively open---we'll see when I talk to her today. I couldn't sleep during the night worrying about it all. Now I'm so bleary I can barely keep my eyes open.

Thank God I got to watch RockStar: Supernova after that (and thanks to my sister for understanding and letting me off the phone for such a reason). It's so horrid and so wonderful. 'Hot, salty, sour, sweet' is what keeps going through my head for some reason....