Birthday party guilt

I can't believe it's Thursday and I still am feeling rotton. I have to make it through the whole day of work today. At this point I'm just tired out so I should be o.k. but jeez this thing has knocked me out. O.K....birthday party guilt. I can't believe it's Thursday and I haven't done anything about Leo's party!!! ARGH. I am just not a party person. I like entertaining adults as I can pour them wine and cook for them but kids don't drink wine and they don't like the way I cook. I have problems cooking kid-friendly.

Two years ago, when he turned five, Leo had his first birthday party. It was moderately stressful but it was a beautiful day and my boy was happy. Only the girls liked the things I had planned but that was o.k. I didn't do goodie bags we just gave all the kids little pumpkins. We survived and I figured we were safe for a few years. We never had a birthday party every year as kids. But of course I was a kid forty years ago so what the hell do I know?

So last year I figured we'd just celebrate Leo's birthday as a family. He never said a word about a party. The day before his birthday I asked him if he wanted to go to the train museum for a train ride for his birthday. He looked at me those HUGE brown eyes and said, "well Mom, we can't do that because all the kids will be coming over." He thought he was having a party.....Just stick a knife in me. ohhhh. I said "uh, uh, uh,ohhhh, Leo, we're not having a party, the kids aren't coming over tomorrow" and he just looked at me sadly. He never complained, he just looked sad. it was one of my worst moments as a parent... So obviously this year we are having a party. He is SO excited. Ernie did a test run of the tanker part of the cake last night. Leo told him he needed some brown on the edges of the wheels because sometimes they are rusty. Ernie had to explain that we weren't going to that level of detail.

So we will be busy tonight and tomorrow but it will all be worth it. Leo's eyes just light up when he's happy.