Bike Rides and Snowstorms

Got home a little early last night from work.  It was warm out and I was excited to be outside with the guys.  Nobody was home.  I looked upstairs, downstairs, outside and in the neighborhood park.  Nowhere.  I told myself they would be home soon because hey---they would be excited to see me, right?  Told myself to enjoy the peace of a quiet house.

Waited.

Finally called Ernie's cel phone only to hear it ring from the pocket of his jacket thrown over the chair.

Waited.

An hour and a half later they showed up.  They'd been riding their bikes at the school.  Ernie looked at my face and said, "didn't you get my note?"  He'd left me a note on the dining room table.  Our dining room table is always a sea of papers....I didn't see it.

I couldn't be mad, right?  He'd left a note and they were out getting exercise in the somewhat springlike weather.

Poor Judi had a fenderbender kind of car accident yesterday.  I feltterrible for her. She's fine apart from some aches but when you'refeeling fragile emotionally (and physically) things like that can justpush you over the edge.  I think that's how I felt (on a much smallerscale) when I didn't know where the guys were  last night.  When you'retrying to just push through and stay positive your state of mind can besomewhat fragile...something that wouldn't normally throw you canbecome too large. And mind you I'm a worrier....it's a good thing Ihave a reliable husband because after waiting oh say 15 minutes I beginpicturing him dead.  Remember the big Valentine's Day snowstormin 1990?  Even though the news reports were filled with stories abouttraffic being snarled and people abandoning their cars on Lake ShoreDrive...I still was sure he was dead.  When he finally got home toRogers Park about 5 hours after he'd left Hyde Park he came in, tossedpink tulips at me and raced to the bathroom.....  I'm just a worrier.

I went to a visitation the other day and as I stood there with the woman I know, the widow, she pointed to the casket and said helplessly, "he was my life."  And that has haunted me somewhat since then.