Hard things to say...

I think I slept 12 hours last night----I kid you not.  It feels like the first weekend in awhile that I could just relax...  Got up, had a bagel with peanut butter and some coffeemilk and talked to Judi.  She has started talking about end of life things....in some ways it's very hard and in some ways it almost makes it easier.  She saw her beloved surgeon, Dr. Kooby, in Atlanta yesterday.  I think it was very difficult.  They have a bond.

This morning we talked to the boys about Judi. It was very hard and of course I ended up crying through most of the conversation.  Owen gasped and said "oh noooooo" and Leo just kind of shrank within himself.  Then we had to talk about the different kinds of cancer and the fact that Daddy's kind of cancer is very different than Aunt Judi's.  The boys have had to deal with too much illness and death in their short little lives.

I talked to my mother and she sounded a little blue.  The boys and I talked and we decided to take her for a picnic to Allerton tomorrow and she perked up at having something to look forward to----we all need that. 

Too bad I didn't tuck myself into Kieran Kane's pocket last weekend....then I could be in San Francisco this weekend at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass this weekend watching my beloved Kane Welch Kaplin play....

Ah well.  I'll find something else to look forward to....