Vertebrats Angst
I posted this the other day and then deleted it when I reread it. I'm not sure why----I don't usually do that. Most of the time I figure I put it out there for a reason so I leave whether I like the way I sound or not..... Anyway, a friend told me to put it back so here it is....
Man, the fact that these Vertebrats shows coming up in September arefor their 30TH ANNIVERSARY is FREAKING me out. Thirty fucking years? Huh? I mean I can not WAIT---because I still adore the Vertebrats (I'mlistening to them right now and Matt just said "Shut up Roy....JesusChrist you got the feeling of a piece of rock" or something like tht Imay have missed a few words). I also still like the person I wasthirty years ago....not that I necessarily want to be her again (and Iprobably like her a lot more than I did thirty yearsago)...well...maybe in some ways...in retrospect I was damn cute at 18.....I don'tknow......
The other day I was driving my mother through Urbanaand I started saying "look, that's the house where Ernie and I met eachother during an after hours party" and "oh, there used to be a wholerow of old houses here" and "oh, none of these building were here whenI came here" and "oh, look....that drive next to that huge apartmentbuilding is the driveway to the old house where I lived with Ernie andDavid Conroyd." And I gotta say, I am just freaking SHOCKED that it'scoming up on thirty years since I came to town....
I'm fascinatedby the fact that I feel so connected to so many of the people from thattime period. The whole faceboook-over-forty-thing has just exacerbatedthat feeling. I've given it some thought however and interestinglyenough I find that I feel most connected to people with whom I sharesome kind of musical connection. Isn't that interesting? It's not asthough I have ever played music (although in my next life I want tocome back as a cute boy in a band)---or worked (well other than thewhole record store thing) in the field......but somehow, whether it'sbeen 30 years or 2 years....that's who I (in general) feel mostconnected with.....although I also feel very connected to some of thepeople that were friends of Judi's, particularly through her lastmonths.....I guess there's just some kind of intensity that bonds youto people... Music and death....jesus h. christ where is this stuffCOMING FROM?
and it's not as though I don't feel connected topeople I know in other ways....I guess it just feels stronger when itstems from a passion....whether it's music, or love for a sibling, orlove of antiques or architecture or roads.....or what have you....
This is a rambling post that probably makes no frigging sense.....
Owenjust dressed up as a police officer and went to the park with a new gun(sigh) from Dallas and Co. He came back a little later with his headhanging down because his 2 dollar gun had broken. He threw it on theground and said, "next time I'm just getting a BOMB." Oh good lord....