Four Months

I got into work this morning.....a gray Monday....I was a bit bleary and not feeling particularly chipper.  I opened up my email and found an email from an old friend of Judi's saying he had just heard about her death.  I know Judi had wanted to get in touch with him and his wife but things ended up changing so fast that it was too late and we never did.  He understood though.  He loved Judi.  He sent me some kind and loving words.

But it was a sad way to start a gray Monday.  Although I'm GLAD he wrote....otherwise it would have been one of those little things in my mind---that I never got hold of Ed and Leslie.....so I am very glad he wrote.  It just feels like another door shutting though.

I know it will get easier. 

It's been four months....four months yesterday.  That's not that long I guess.  She only lived with us a little over three months though and that seems as though it was a long time.

I miss her so.  Everytime I leave work and walk towards the car I think, that doesn't look like my car.  That's too nice....that looks like Judi's car.  And when I hit the unlock button and the lights flash at me I always feel like it's looking for Judi.  Good lord I know that sounds ridiculous.  Once I get in the car and put music on I'm o.k.....it's just walking up to it.