Vacation Let Down

Back...and back to real life, although real life really didn't really recede as much as I would have liked.  Maine was beautiful....I love that area unreservedly.  Real life, well I do love it but sometimes I resent it a bit.  Doesn't do much good to resent it now does it?  But there you go.

I find that I am longing, unrealistically, for a vacation in which I'm not the mom.  I don't want to be in charge of everything....of what to do, where we're going, when we should leave, what to have for dinner, what we have to buy for dinner, cook the dinner and do the dishes.  And honest to God, that's no criticism of everyone else....it's just how it plays out.  And much of it's my fault because I just DO it....but I feel as though if I wait for others to step in, either nothing will happen or half the day will be gone....and everyone is used to me doing this stuff so they don't really.....eh....you know what I mean.

And traveling some 3200 miles in a mini-van with three boys is somewhat exhausting....as wonderful as they all are.  Three is a tricky number for people, as often one person gets left out and as much I understand the myriad of reasons for that I still get frustrated when someone is purposefully excluded...and when older kids band together against the younger....so they get upset and I get upset, ridiculous tantrums are thrown by someone who is too old for that and all I could think was of Ernie and me going somewhere by ourselves.  And sometimes I felt as though the boys were  being ungrateful twits but then I try to think whether I ever thanked my parents for vacation.  I suppose not. We spent a small fortune splurging on taking everyone on the whale watching tour and I think Debbie was the only one that thanked us.  They were nervous about the boat though I guess.  I don't know.

I should write something more cheerful but you get me as I am here and I find myself a bit sad today.  And of course we get to look forward to going to the cancer center tomorrow.

HOWEVER.....despite this whiny little post there were some absolutely wonderful moments!  I'll write a more upbeat post later.....

And here is Owen teaching to me do deep breathing to calm myself.  I was frustrated that afternoon so he decided to show me what he learned from Aikido.  He was very pleased that I found it helpful. God I love that boy.