20/20

In hindsight what I should have done was call Health Alliance last week….but of course that’s hindsight and I didn’t realize that until today….of course I MIGHT have realized it on Friday if the Cancer Center had called us back.  So anyway, everybody was very nice and as helpful as they could be but I still feel very frustrated and I feel angry.  Angry that regardless of WHOSE fault it is, he will have his injection 8 days late.  And angry at myself for taking his care for granted. 

Theoretically the Zoladex will arrive tomorrow and Ernie can get his injection first thing on Wednesday.  I’m still a tad confused about some of it.  The nurse initially told me that he would be able to have it the same day as his infusion in the future, that it’s just because the authorization just went through since Health Alliance is switching to Walgreen’s Specialty for Zoladex.  O.k….but today when I spoke to someone  I thought she said  this change happened two months ago, so I asked why if it had been two months why this was delayed and she said because they didn’t have a doctor’s order for it.  I asked why not and she said because sometimes doctors want to see somebody before they order it.  Well, since Ernie sees the doctor on the same day he gets his infusion and injection that’s not going to work.  I assume it will work out but I have a call in to the oncologist’s nurse to clarify that there will be some kind of standing order and that we won’t have to go through this in the future.

I’ve been reading the book Falling and Laughing: The Restoration of Edwyn Collins.  It was written by his wife about their journey after he had a severe stroke in 2005.  I am really enjoying it but it is kind of hard to read as well.  It makes me think about the journeys of care that I have been on in the last few years.  I am no less devoted than she but I think she is mouthier than I am by nature.  I read it and sometimes feel regret over what I should have fought for more forcefully. 

But then again….that’s hindsight, huh?