Listening and Nodding: A Memorial
Ernie and I went to Ron Cannon's Memorial Service on Monday. I didn't know him personally although I saw Big Daddy Sun and the Outer Planets plenty of times way back when. As I mentioned before, Ernie knew him a bit back in those days and we know his daughter although we'd never even realized the connection between the two of them. I am very fond of Claire so I wanted to go. After having been through five family funerals in the last decade (Ernie's father back when I was pregnant with Owen, his mother in 2004, my father in 2008, my sister in 2009 and my mother in 2010). I have learned that it can mean a lot when someone makes the effort to be there for you. Perhaps it's not as important for everyone and yet just on the off chance that others feel as I do....we now try to be there for people whenever we can. Being in the midst of a funeral for a loved one can be a surreal blurry experience but sometimes long after it will pop into my head that so and so was there and I am comforted.
The memorial was in Channing-Murray....a place I haven't been in for years....also the place I think that I first saw Big Daddy Sun but then again I might be wrong. It's a beautiful little building. There is something so human about funerals. At least that's the word that kept running through my mind....so human. The hush of people talking softly, the squeak of more chairs being set up as the room began to fill, the faint smells of food being prepared downstairs....human.
Many people spoke and I was moved by what they said. I was touched by several younger people that spoke....that hadn't known him all that long but had still been affected by his friendship. That seemed very telling to me. We listened and nodded. Afterwards we went downstairs to Red Herring where there was food and a jam session. We couldn't stay for long but got to say hello to some old friends (Phil Harris YES! and Urban Djin who I hadn't seen in a million years and oddly looks exactly the same!). I hugged Claire, told her I loved her, we got our jewelry caught on each other and we laughed. We said good bye to Mark Rubel (God I love those Rubels) and took off.
Our sympathies to Claire...and to all of us that miss our fathers.