Popcorn Kernels and Safety Nets
I hate to admit that it has been far too long since I've been to the dentist. I make sure the boys and Ernie go but I don't. What sense does that make? That I can't tell you. We are fortunate in that we have dental insurance through my job that covers some things. We are unfortunate in that we live in the State of Illinois where the government is such a clusterfuck that there's no assurance of us ever being reimbursed for said dental expenses so right now the insurance is not of great use. We're currently waiting on about $1,000 from the State for expenses incurred in the last year. And now I think they're not even pretending to be reimbursing folks these days as there is no freaking State budget. Sigh.
A week or so ago, on one of my popcorn dinner nights, I bit down hard on an unpopped kernel of popcorn and it felt like a bolt of lightning went through my tooth. I tried to ignore it but it's been getting sensitive to hot and cold and aching.... So Ernie, being the good husband he is, called me at work the other day and told me he'd managed to get me in to the dentist this week. So off I went and was told that, given what a slacker I am, my teeth aren't bad and that evidently I have excellent brushing technique. When I told Ernie that, with great satisfaction, he just laughed and laughed at me. Hmmph. They also told me that I have a cracked tooth...may be able to put a crown on it...we shall see. I go back on the 29th. They also told me that it would all cost a little over $2,000. Sigh. $2,200 to be exact.
It was a funny experience. I was there for over two hours in the dentist's chair which played havoc with my back. I kept tensing up my back. I'd realize it and try to purposefully relax, only to realize a moment later that I was all tensed up again. I went back to work and was fine, only to have my back again tighten up later in the afternoon to a searing pain. My colleague got a hot pack for me and we wedged it between my back and the chair. It helped a bit but I ended up limping home a bit early. I truly thought a night's rest would take care of it but it did not so it may be a quiet weekend for me.
The thing about the visit that struck me was the sense of comfort I found. The dentist and hygienist were incredibly kind and didn't make me feel like an idiot for not having been for so long. I had a certain feeling of relief, that I was now in their hands and could give up some of my worries. Ernie and I both lived for years without health insurance. Luckily we were young and healthy but there was a time or two when we panicked. I remember Ernie having a tremendously painful toothache once while we were living in Chicago, and us calling place after place to find someone to take him. We finally did. I sat and waited and waited for him, watching patients come in and put payments down on their accounts. When he was finally done I remember the bill was huge and I asked for a payment plan. I knew they did them as I'd been watching people make payments all morning long, but my request was still met with a sigh and a roll of the eyes. I felt embarrassed and defiant at the same time. It seems like we paid on that forever.
As I lay there in the dentist chair I thought about that. I thought about the difference between living with a safety net and without. I thought about the comfort that insurance brings, even with the reimbursement date being nebulous. I still believe we should have a single payer system in this country, but I am so grateful for the advances that have been made with Obamacare. Part of the reason I took a job at the University was because of the benefits. Leo was a baby and we couldn't afford the family insurance plan at the job we were at (although endless kudos for Record Service, as such a small business, making the effort to offer health insurance to its employees...and for giving me maternity leave after I had Leo) so we both started looking at jobs with cheaper insurance and figured whoever got one first would take it and the other would stay home with the kids (plural as I was then pregnant with Owen). I came up with one first and ended up at the local art museum. We had no way to know that in just a another year or two we would be using that health insurance to a degree we couldn't have imagined. Without having an HMO Ernie's cancer would have bankrupted us. Even now, sometimes the deductibles on his treatment make things tight for us.
So as I sit here with my back hurting I am pondering the safety nets we have and the comfort that those safety nets, or the money to get those safety nets, provide. Money doesn't buy happiness but it sure can wipe out some worries.
It's funny how a popcorn kernel can make you grateful for what you have.