Dreams and Spots and Cuffs
My family, my parents and sisters, has been so much on my mind of late...much more than recent Christmas seasons. I dream of them over and over. Debbie, Judi, and I were frantically Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve for our parents. We were in some sort of huge Art Mart like store. We searched and searched, finding nothing. Finally we sat to have lunch and saw some perfect gifts near our table. I was thrilled until we suddenly realized that our parents were gone....there was no need for gifts. Then Judi was no longer there and I tried to catch Debbie before she bought the presents. I'm not even sad in the dreams, just unsettled.
I think part of it's the election. I so wish I could talk to my parents about it all. And Judi, actually Ernie and I laugh when we mention Judi. She used to call me somewhat hysterically when George W. Bush spoke....I can't imagine WHAT she'd be doing now. Somehow, I think the election feels like some kind of personal loss to me....so it's reminding me of my other losses. Does that make sense? Our minds are so complex but sometimes they're damned simplistic too.
On a different note I seem to have various low level autoimmune things going on with my body. Remember I had blepharitis in my eyes? That seems to have cleared up thank God, but I have been somewhat tortured (well, o.k., not TORTURED...but definitely bothered) by the spread of something known as nummular eczema. Don't google it, some of the pictures are revolting. Let's just say it's a good thing I wear long dresses. Sometimes Owen would say, "Mom, that's disturbing, can you pull your skirt over that." Gee, thanks honey. I love you too.
Anyway, I saw the doctor, got some stuff that helped, then didn't help and finally went to see a dermatologist. He prescribed some kind of ointment which I have been trying to use faithfully twice a day. Things got better but then I got a new area of spots on my upper back...right where you can't reach and can't see. I could feel the itching though so I had Ernie look at it. Sure enough. So now, I put the ointment on all my various spots and then I call Ernie and he comes over and takes it from me and carefully daubs it on the spots I can't reach. And oddly enough, it's one of my favorite moments of the day. I know that sounds crazy, but it feels so loving and so caring. So I hold those moments close.
Gee, do you think I should buy him a new jeans jacket for Christmas? This is a shot of the cuff that's in the best shape. Poor boy.