Monday

A very Monday kind of day.  I felt bleary for no good reason other than the remnants of my cold keep me up coughing at night.  I talked with Judi, yesterday and today, and things are not good. 

I wish I could DO more for her....not that I can solve anything but just to help....she has the inimitable Gina, to whom my family owes well.....just everything.  Jusi has open sores in her mouth from the chemo and doesn't know how much longer she can stay in her house alone.  I wish I could just be there, just BE there with her.  Fix her some food, put her to bed, sit on her deck.  I told her she can come here but I don't know what will be right for her.  Her realtor is coming over in the morning.

I have to admit that I am struggling.  I know that I will always have her with me but it is just too soon.  Just too soon.

I guess it would be easier if I didn't love her so much and well, if I didn't just LIKE her so much too. She's more than just a sister.