Catching Cancer....
Oh my....the things you don't think of.... Lately Owen has stopped running up and kissing Judi goodbye in the morning and hasn't seemed to want to hug her. It's complicated stuff though so we don't push it. Given that Judi really seems to be declining though we figured we should have another talk with the guys. I had a talk with Leo while Owen and Ernie were out somewhere. He nodded solemnly as I explained that the medicine (chemo) she'd been taking wasn't working anymore and she was going to die in the next few months. His big brown eyes just got bigger and he said he'd noticed that she didn't come downstairs anymore. I told him how much she loved him and hugged him.
Later that night Ernie had a talk with Owen. Owen listened for awhile and then said, "Dad, can we stop talking about this because it's creeping me out." In the course of the conversation however it came out that he hadn't been hugging or kissing Judi because he was afraid he might catch her cancer. He's delighted that he can start hugging and kissing her again.
Here we talk about catching colds, the flu and the like from one another----hadn't occurred to me that I needed to tell him that you can't catch cancer that way.....
Judi's sleeping more often and seems weaker. She has some friends visiting now. I've totally stopped being a gracious host. The house is a mess and I don't offer more than tea or water....they're on their own for lunch generally....just can't handle it..... I don't mean that I'm not happy to have them here mind you---it's WONDERFUL that Judi has such devoted friends and it means a lot to all of us that they see her! I'm just not capable of being a gracious host any longer....
I've had a lazy morning. I slept late. Ernie came in the room at one point and I said, "mm-mmm-m-mm?" and he said "8:30." I said, "mmm" and he said, "O.k., 9:00." Then I said, "mm-mmm-mm" and he said, "I love you too." Can you tell we've been married eons? In fact, yesterday was the uh, well.....the 28TH anniversary of the day we met. Geez. Judi said she still remembers the day, a few weeks later, when I was visiting her in Chicago and as we stood on the L platform I said to her, "I've met somebody wonderful." He certainly never imagined that 28 years later he'd be caring for not only me, but my sister, my mother and our kids! HA! I was not in a great mood yesterday----just feeling irritable and overwhelmed. Eventually however Ernie built a fire in the fireplace, we settled on the couch watching the Anthony Bourdain inspired sitcom that only ran a couple of episodes on Fox but is no on Hulu and sharing the deep fried peanuts that I'd bought in Georgia....then we ordered sushi from Sushi Kame....it ended up being a good day. I went to bed early of course but Owen tucked me in very nicely....
By the by....Owen looks incredibly handsome in his new glasses....let's see if he can hold on to these....
Off to Sunday responsibilities now....grocery shopping for my Mom, visiting with her for awhile then running errands for Judi. No work tomorrow though!