Bareness

I don't put tons of pictures of myself on here as I'm not usually wild about them.  I'm putting two recent pictures though----from the last couple of days---of me with my boys.  First showing Leo how to use the Photo Booth on the iMac and then snuggling with my little blonde (note where he trimmed his hair in the front---and oh, by the way, that's the remains of a groundhog tattoo on his forehead).

You know what's shocking about these two pictures?  There is not a bit of make-up on my face.  Now mind you....I am a child of the 80's (or young adult of the 80's but you know what I mean....).  I LOVED make-up.  Next to Aqua-Net Extra Super Hold Hair Spray in the pink and white can it was one of my favorite things.  I had a hard time giving up some of that make-up.  I tried to control it though. 

I was still deeply committed to my eyeliner until one day, when Leo was about two and I was very pregnant with Owen, I dropped my eyeliner and it rolled behind the vanity in the bathroom.  Given how much energy I had to focus on myself at that time....that was the end of the eyeliner.  I still always wore make up base, some blush, eyeshadow and mascara.  Then I gave up on the eyeshadow....then it became just blush on days I went to work.  Slowly it became only base and mascara.  Then it became only mascara on days I wasn't working and then it slowly became none.  I still try a tiny bit when I go to work but not much.  I go out with a BARE FACE.  Naked EYELASHES.  It feels strange and I know I look better with a bit more care but it is rather liberating.  Here I am....bare face and all.  I have often told people that I could never have written this blog at a different time in my life.  I could only do this when I am willing to have a bare face in reality as well as here on the written page.  Well, er...you know....the shining screen...or whatever.  Going through this experience with Judi has made me feel more bare or transparent than ever.  Only fitting as I wear less and less make-up.

I've been told more or less that I use this blog for a replacement for actual friendships but I don't think that is true.  I have indeed made friends through this blog but I also have near and dear friends who never read this and kind of say, "oh that's right you blog."  What this blog HAS done for me however is let me be comfortable being bare.  Bare eyelashes, bare face, bare heart.  And I'm glad of it.