Random Notes from the Sandwich Life

1.  Life's been a bit of a rollercoaster and let me tell you.....I don't like rollercoasters.  I WANT to like them but uh....I don't.

2.  Most importantly......Ernie's PSA was UNDETECTABLE!  Woo-hooooo!  For whatever reason I was more worried than normal today.....perhaps it was the ummm.....string of questionable luck we've had of late?  Anyway our favorite nurse brought us in the room and put us out of our misery right away by saying that his psa hadn't changed....and then we got to see our beloved Dr. Sapiente.  I think I'm going to have to put him on my list of people that I want to have dinner with someday.  It's a diverse group....ranging from Alice Cooper to well....Dr. Sapiente.....  

3.  My mother....well...my mother has been part of the rollercoaster.  I went to see her the other night and she was really not doing well and I was pretty frightened.  Then yesterday after the cancer center we went over to the hospital to check on her and she was READING THE NEWSPAPER!  I just stared at her and said, "you're reading the newspaper."  She shrugged her shoulders and said, "well, somebody brought it in to me."  All I could think was, "well I know you didn't go to the corner to buy it Mom but still....you're freaking reading the newspaper!"  Mom has always been kind of a news junkie and seeing her slowly stop reading the newspaper has been hard.  So suffice to say she was much better.  She also had spoken to the discharge planner and agreed to go to a nursing home.  She's going to try Champaign County this time and see how it goes.   You could have knocked me over with a feather.....

I'm not quite sure what the future holds.  As she quietly said to me last night, "I'm not well."  All I could say was, "I know Mom."  The other day in the emergency room I was holding her hand and I looked at her and said, "I'm taking care of you the best I can Mom" and she smiled kind of weakly and said, "I know you are honey."

4.  Last night I didn't go visit her and I was glad because when I gothome Ernie was really tired.  Those infusions wipe him out....not rightwhen he gets them but later in the day....

5.  When we were in the emergency room I sat there trying to think of amusing anecdotes for her.  Usually Owen in particular is good for a couple.  The only one I could think of was when the other day for some reason the boys were talking about the jackets that my mom gave them for Christmas....and Owen cheerfully said, "oh yeah, the next time we have a funeral we can wear those."  I kind of laughingly protested...."well, let's not PLAN on a funeral" to which Owen innocently replied, "well, what about Grandma Mom?"  I kind of rambled on, "well yes, Grandma will die eventually....but...." and eventually trailed off as they turned back to their Lego....  Perhaps it's healthy that they take funerals for granted but just the same it breaks my heart....

6.  Let me just saying I am taking WRETCHED pictures of late.  Nothing seems to be turning out.  What is that about?  I'll just showcase Ernie's beautiful completed Will Shorts NYT crossword puzzle.  Note that he does them in ink.  Showoff!   Man I love him.

 

7.  I found it rather interesting how much that 13.5 hours of sleep helped.  Sometimes I think I'm tired all the time just because things are difficult emotionally but guess what?  Turns out some of that is just that I'm tired.  I wish I were somebody that could proudly say they don't need lots of sleep but.....uh...no....  I think I'm going to have to schedule sleep marathons periodically because that really helped!

8.  Don't forget the David Olney/Sergio Webb house concert on February 5.