Huh....and other Random Notes

1.  I don't generally write about work but this bears some pondering.  Yesterday I had to work at our open house.  We have them spring and fall and they are always pretty wonderful events although yesterday's seemed especially good.  But I'd been dreading this one all week.  I missed last fall's as I was at the hospital with my mother and last spring it was a good event and went smoothly but I remember how absolutely exhausted I was afterward.  I remember looking at my watch and seeing it was only half over and wanting to cry.  I ached so, I kept trying to find someplace to sit down for just a minute.  The next day I felt I could hardly move.

So I kind of dreaded it this year.  And yes, my feet and legs were really tired last night as I'm not used to being on my feet for the entire day.  But you know what?  I was fine and I feel fine today.  And that kind of shocks me because it makes me realize what a different place I was in, both mentally and physically, a year ago.

Last April Judi had been gone for a bit over two months, my mother wasn't doing well and we were still in the process of getting Ernie's cancer under control......and I guess I was a different person.  Me.....but somewhere else.

Huh.

2.  This morning Owen woke me up---well, as he put it, he " just came up to check on me because I'd been asleep a LONG time."  We snuggled for a while....my GOD that boy is a master snuggler.....and then he gave me his Obama bracelet and asked me if I could wear it today.  I agreed of course and he explained to me that he had given it to Judi but it was his now (Judi's dear friend Amy had given it to him when she visited after the inauguration last year).  Then he rambled on and said if we'd left Judi as a body he might have had her wear it but since we turned her to ashes it seemed wrong because what would a little ash think if it saw that big bracelet on it?  "Oh NO that bracelet is going to crush me!"  All I could do was agree that that would be a bit overwhelming for a little ash and tell him that I would be delighted to wear it.

 

3.  We ordered a classic Papa Del's pan pizza last night.  We haven't done that in ages and I'd forgotten how damn good they are.  Of course we have tons left as I also had forgotten how huge they are.  Then Ernie rubbed my feet and sent me to bed.  I went upstairs and read.  Later he showed up with a little bowl with strawberries and shortbread for me, kissed me and shut the door when he went downstairs.  I nibbled the strawberries and one of the cookies....couldn't finish as I was too full from the pizza earlier....and I just felt so loved.

4.  The view from an office in our bank:

 

5.  Thanks to Mary G. who chatted to Ernie at Schnuck's yesterday (and for the card).  It's amazing, and touching, to me when people tell me this blog has helped them, or moved them in some way.  I know it's because we all deal with the same issues in life---in various permutations of course----but at heart the same issues.  I'm really  honored by it though.  There have been a couple of unfortunate things that have come about because of this blog.  Some deserved, some not----none intentional but lousy just the same.  And I own the responsibility for them, fair or not.  But so many good things have come about, so many kindnesses have come about.....  Amazing.

6.  Here's the note we came home to the other day when we'd left the boys for a short bit.  

Dear Mom and Dad,  We, Owen and Ricky and Leo, went to...I don't know how to put it but we went.  And no, there's nothing on the other side.  Luckily for them they had called and gotten permission before they left or it wouldn't have been nearly as amusing.  This must have been before they realized they damn well better call.

 

7.  I think I'm going to head out to Prairie Gardens and buy some seeds (maybe a few plants don't you know).  Ernie's already tilled up a couple of our garden beds.  They need a bit of soil amendment but I certainly should get my kale and chard seeds in.....  Leo's asked if we can go out to lunch because he said it's been WAY too long since we've done that.  And of course I'm a sucker for lunch with my sweet peas....

8.  A current mantel arrangement.  They are the lyrics from the last song on David Olney's new album (BUY IT), a ship my mother had bought many years ago at the Hinsdale on the Green antique show (RIP) and wanted Ernie to have as he had always loved it.