The Countdown
Every morning the first word out of Owen's mouth is the number of days left until Christmas. This really might be the year the tops of their heads pop off from excitement. Watching them, and listening to them, I can almost feel a glimmer of that excitement....and remember what it was like to have the wait be almost unbearable. My sweet peas.
Owen asked if we could go to church this weekend so off we went Sunday morning. He was so excited. He chose to wear a dress shirt with an old tie of my father's that we found cleaning out the house----it has Snoopy on it. As we were driving I told him how handsome he looked and he gave me the proudest little smile as he said thank you. Oh man that boy can break my heart.
He asked me if it would make me sad being there without Grandpa. I told him it would make me think about Grandpa but I wouldn't be sad, I would just be glad that we had the chance to take Grandpa to church for those years. How's THAT for hindsight casting a rosy glow? I mean it though. It was damned hard but it was worth it as I know how much it meant to him and it was one of the few things I could do to make him happy in those last years. Owen told me he thought Grandpa might be sitting there with us and I told him he might be right. We held hands through most of the mass and he insisted that I sing audibly. He was very happy that Father Joe officiated and that he got to shake his hand. Afterwards he was sad that he forgot to say Merry Christmas to him but I told we'd go again.
It was a quiet and relaxed weekend. I did some baking, we went out to lunch, we watched a Christmas movie or two even if I did sometimes have to bribe Leo to get him to sit with us.....we had a fire in the fireplace and read a lot. Owen spent a lot of time working out his thoughts on Santa Claus. As he said at one point as he laid on the floor pushing himself in circles, "Well, if Santa Claus didn't bring those presents, then someone else would have to and I KNOW you guys can't afford all that." I told him he was right---we couldn't afford all that. Ernie and I did what we thought was the last of our shopping. Then we went home and made lists and I realized the lists were uneven....off to Amazon we flew like a flash.....
I'm always impressed when I hear people talk about just a few presents for Christmas, or all handmade, etc. It seems so right, so in keeping with the real meaning and feeling of the season. Unfortunately I come from a family that had two parents that abolutely loved to buy presents for their children. Mom was always adding something to her list to balance out the number of presents for each child....and Dad, well Dad would have given us the world. We all learned early not to ask Dad for anything we knew we shouldn't really have. And beyond following in my parents' footstep, this year for some reason I really feel like indulging all of us a bit....and that means probably too many presents for my boys. But hopefully, between their presents from us and the presents from Santa that we can't afford....it will be a very good Christmas....
And here are the Blind Boys of Alabama singing Last Month of the Year! I love this. Merry Christmas.