An Anniversary

 Our anniversary is this weekend….on Saturday.  Twenty-three years.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  Three years ago we had Kane Welch Kaplin for our anniversary party.  Ernie’s cancer had come back that year and we were pretty devastated.  My sister had already been diagnosed with her cancer, my father was sinking into dementia, my mother was becoming confined to a wheelchair.  That was when we really started talking about doing things to bring us joy, to live in the moment as much as we could.  I think we were driving home from our friend Eileen's house after staying overnight and seeing Kane Welch Kaplin at Fitzgerald’s.  On the way home we just felt as though we were glowing from the sound and feel of their music and the comfort of being with friends.  So we came up with the idea of having them play for our anniversary, just a blow-it-out-we’ll-never-do-this-again-kind-of-thing.  A way of shaking our fists against the bad news of the year.  Their booking agent ignored my emails at first so I wrote directly to Kieran and Kevin.  And of course, being the kind men they are, they quickly replied, saying that would be happy to play if we could work out the schedule.  And I remember Kieran saying that he thought Ernie would be around for a long time and I clutched that thought to myself.   And now that one party---that one defiant answer to the sadness of that year, has somehow evolved into hosting house concerts which in turn has brought us wonderful new friends, great music and much joy. A path I never imagined.

Of course Leo does refer to them as “those stupid parties you give” but you can’t have everything, now can you?

Part of the reason I wanted to celebrate our 20^th anniversary that year was because I guess I think of the 25^th anniversary as being a big deal.  I remember that for my parents’ 25^th anniversary my sisters and I (well, mostly them) got together and bought a present for them.  It was a silver letter holder with the anniversary date on it.  I have it somewhere with all the things I took from their house.

I was afraid that I might not have a 25^th anniversary with Ernie. Now three years later I know that, despite not knowing what the future holds, I should indeed have Ernie around for our 25^th anniversary, and he should have me around.  We may not know what the future will bring and what our 25th anniversary will really be like....but I do know that he brings me great joy…and he has for twenty three years.