Building A Clan

It’s funny.  The last few years I have thought so much about family….the families we have, the families we lose, and the families we create.  There are friends and family that I have lost, some because of death, some for other reasons, and I still miss them so painfully.  The other day we were talking about various dates and I stopped and gasped, “oh my god…..has it been almost THREE years since my sister died?”  Ernie nodded his head and I just sat there stunned.  I cried a bit that night as I was trying to fall asleep.  Thinking about her red hair and her beautiful hands.  When she was dying I would lie on the bed with her sometimes and she would rub the top of my head.  I guess that kind of loss never really lessens.

Yesterday afternoon my friend Ann called me and said the hadn’t started what she’d planned to have for dinner early enough….and wanted to know if we wanted to meet them at Fries and Peanuts.  I had also been wondering what the hell we were going to have for dinner so I delightedly agreed.  We got there just moments after they had arrived----they were standing talking to our friends Boo and Doug, their daughter Laura and other family.  We all stood, laughing and trading hugs.  As we were finishing up our dinner they all  came over to say goodbye.  Again, we were just laughed and waved, talking over each other…..and the thought went though my head that I love my little clan…..that I’d done a good job building this family.  It doesn’t make me miss my other family and friends any less….but it makes me appreciate these relationships all the more.