Circles and Clouds

As I have mentioned here, a dear friend of mine is currentlyin the last stages of cancer. He is in hospice, at home with his family. Iheard from his wife last night. She had some questions re: funeral homes, etc.and asked if I knew of a notary public that would come out to their house. Iimmediately turned to my friend Renee because she is one of those friends whowill move heaven and earth to help her friends. She figured out a way to makeit happen but unfortunately my friend’s wife texted me today to tell me he wasnow not in good enough shape to sign anything.

When Ernie and I left the house to go to my appointment atthe Spine Clinic this morning, the heavy, heavy clouds felt as though they knewjust how I felt. I saw the doctor and reported that the shot hadn’t really seemed tohelp. She asked me if I wanted to meet with a surgeon. I said I wouldbecause I don’t really know what the surgery entails and I can’t make adecision until I have more information. So, yeah.

Mid morning I checked my email and found I had a responsefrom the Shambhala in Colorado. Judi had told me that she wanted her ashesspread there. I wasn’t ready to get rid of her ashes at first but it’s beenlong enough that I think it’s right to do now. I had written to see if it wouldindeed be possible to visit and to spread her ashes. I had a lovely responsethat they would be happy to accommodate us.

Circles, circles, circles.

So many circles.

We are thinking that we may skip going to Maine next summerand will instead plan a trip out west. Apart from spreading Judi's ashes I’d like to also show the boys the tinytown in Utah their grandmother was from---where their father lived for a year orso as a child. Maybe down to New Mexico as well if we can swing that.

Life goes on but right now my heart is with a family in southwest Champaign.

Fucking cancer.