The CMA's and Parenting

I think we all know to expect challenges in life. I think most of us realize that we're going to get kicked down here and there. It's just that it always comes from completely unexpected directions. I mean, I knew there'd be health challenges somewhere along the way in my life, but did I expect Ernie's cancer...or Judi's horrible cancer, and her death? No. And let's face it...I've still got a ways to go. And WHY we think we won't be surprised I don't know. It's just like being so shocked that the boys are so completely different. Hello Cynthia....your two sisters? Debbie and Judi? Could they have been more different? So why am I still shocked to laughter at how different my two are? Lord only knows. 

Of late, one of them has really knocked me down in a way I never expected. Nothing that is the end of the world mind you, but last night I was so infuriated and angry with him that I told him to get his own dinner and I sat and watched the CMA's instead. I know, I know....not mother of the year time but DAMN I was mad. I was furious enough that I'm still not really regretting it. Maybe I'll feel bad about it at some point...but not for awhile. The CMA's simultaneously cheered and depressed me. Some of it was so horrifying that I was entertained but every so often there was a tiny bit that sounded good. It was perfect escapism as I pondered my failings as a parent. Because if your children make you that angry it must be that you haven't shepherded them properly as a parent, right? At least that's how it feels.

Eh.

My sweet peas. 

Lord do I want to apologize to my parents for my teenage years....