Zoladex At Last....sigh

Ernie called me yesterday early afternoon to report that he had called the Cancer Center to see if the Zoladex had arrived and was told it had NOT.  Ahem.  My stress level shot through the air and I was livid so I called a woman that a fellow cancer patient had recommended we contact and left a totally inarticulate message for her.  Just as I was stumbling through that my colleague came to find me and said she had somebody else on the phone for me so I took that and it was someone from the Cancer Center who told me that the Zoladex WAS there.  Suffice to say there was miscommunication.  I talked to her a bit and she confirmed my feeling that this could indeed be a problem in the future.  She said someone from there will be contacting Health Alliance and I asked them to contact me after that.  Then the woman I had called returned my call and we talked about the issue.  She said they will see what they can do but she was recommending that patients call Health Alliance directly as well so I will do that in the near future.  As I pointed out, and they agreed, it's awfully shortsighted to hold up something that is supressing his cancer because they'll be paying a shitload more money for treatment if the fucking cancer rears its head because he doesn't get this injection at the appropriate time.

Of course when I get mad I cry so I went back to my desk and tried to look as though I wasn't crying.  It didn't really work so I went to the bathroom and sat in the stall with tears streaming down my face.  It's as though I can't respond appropriately to stress anymore....one thing and the feelings of helplessness shoot as high as they have ever been.

It exhausts me.

Things are fine though.  Ernie got the freaking injection and we went home and watched David Olney do a song in a cranky mood which was somehow comforting and then we did a little fussing getting ready for the party....mixing up cheese wafers, sorting through stacks of magazines and paperwork that are sitting in the living room, etc.

This is perfect timing....Jason will do us all good.